Meditation Journey Week Eleven

Monday

From the yoga instructor training course, I was re-introduced to bumble bee breath. It had been a part of my training in my technique class at University but was shown as a breath and not much more information was given. We were actually given a more 'advanced' way into it that I could not get my head around. This was about feeling vibrations.

Anyway I will recap.

Bumble bee breath is when you have your lips together and make that humming sound. Sounds simple right? It is quite. But it is the same as any other pranyama technique. You need intention. This is what I missed from University. Breathing in. Retain breath. ON the exhalation you can actually only hear yourself in your mind. To heighten this, gently press into your tragus and hear the hum louder in your mind. I used this as a self love and confidence breath. Knowing I am listening to myself in this theme is very powerful. It is a breath you have to be careful with though, especially if suffering from depression.

Tuesday

Today my meditation was less so of the 'regular' kind you would think of.

I had a mini therapy session in my friends room with a glass of wine. How i class it as meditation is as each time a thought crossed my mind I was able to say it. To feel comfortable enough with someone to break down all barriers and worries like that is a beautiful thing. This is like having the conversation with ourself. To be able to go this is the thought- let me allow it to sit with me for a minute (a technique I have spoken about when doing some of my guided meditation via an app where we clear the thoughts then allow them some time to come and our mind and body to process and do what it needs to in order to move forward). This conversation with myself was just said out loud. I was able to have the space to verbalize it (which makes it seem more 'real' and then by hearing it I can separate myself from the voice of myself saying it. Here is where I can be objective. It is a hard thing to do as there is a difference from having a conversation with someone about it and what I kind of did as talking at someone and then answering questions about it to see how you truly sit in your opinion.

Wednesday

Today I sat in the park on the walk home. I wanted to and decided to take this moment to be in the present. I am organized and I know I still have the time if I allow myself my freetime/relax now rather than later. I took advantage for what I was doing in this time too though. Feeling the sun on my skin. did bits of seated yoga but it is just because that's what i do and my body feels it needs.

I remembered about my audio book and paused my music, lay down and just listening. This was meditation for me and I'll tell you why. I didn't think of much outside the book. But when something resonated and gave me a kind of lesson from it, i could apply it to the situayion- feel RELIEF and then carry on listening without other thoughts. It was meditation as when i sat up and opened my eyes I had forgotten I was in a park. I had no idea how many people walked past. A lady who was sat on a bench reading had gone. The outside world to me had shut off, and I am a person that can have a fairly good idea of what is happening around them.

Thursday

I danced around the room. Simple as. Spontaneous moment. I got lost within the music and expressed myself with whatever movement I was doing in my living room. This is my innate meditation.

Friday

I did try Yoga today but didn't feel as connected. I couldn't get into my own flow I was creating for myself and as I wasn't already in my body I knew by stopping- sitting on the mat and trying to then get into my mind would just NOT WORK.

My meditation, on reflection, ending up being from listening to a podcast when showering. I have been listening to Jay Shetty 'on purpose' on and off for a while and find the topics to allow me to focus on one 'problem' at a time. Even if i dont realsie it. I could be listening to something I do not think is related to my life in that moment, but then either look back and see a hurtful experience in a new light (and come out feeling a bit relieved) or something current.

Again it is allowing the emotion to come. Sit with me for a minute and go. The memory comes. I spend time analysing it.But as his voice continues, it makes me move through the process instead of sitting in the 'upset' or 'painful' moment. It is the same as when with a therapist. They give certain times to sit with it before carrying on.

Saturday

My daily 'stress free' card today really resonated. It was only a quick 5-10 min exercise.

The card said.Imagine you are an old person, sat in your rocking chair looking back and talking about yourself right now. What would you say?

It put into focus what I am doing now that I am so proud of, what I am stressing about that I ALREADY KNOW won't matter in a few years time and where I am stupidly putting my energy.It reminded me that these are my years RIGHT NOW. As cliche as that is I am starting to understand.

Sunday

To be honest I didn't really have a meditation. I was at yoga in the morning but focusing mainly on the tightness in my right shoulder.

At work I had moments of complete calm and running through the motions. BUT I do not know or have been there long enough to be fully on autopilot.

Once home in the evening I became so focused on my jobs that I have to do hoping to have a quiet moment just before bed again.