Don't beat yourself up

I have been very hard on myself, and i have noticed this more this week. My whole calm exterior and interior can never last forever and something will open up all the walls. Most of the time I think I am doing better and I am now starting to believe it just means you built a wall better. We all ALWAYS have something but what makes us feel 'broken' or 'lost' in a moment is just one too many of these in any instant.

One of the 'self-beatings' I was consciously aware of from the start was that of my meditation practice.

Not until my weekend yoga instructor course did I realise how (for lack of a better word) stupid and close-minded it was of me. I was the one forcing myself into a box and not just being. Just accepting me.

The whole point of this blog was to document the meditation I do outside of my 'regular' practice. This being dancing in a studio or doing a vinyasa yoga flow.

Well though my instructor course is founded in Hatha (which is more still focusing on a prep, the posture and then a counter- instead of moving like dance through poses in vinyasa) there is still a meditation aspect. This aspect is founded differently to my regular training, and 'closer' to what I write about in these blogs.

It is having dedicated time to meditate SEPARATELY to moving in the body. Separating the body and mind a little bit more. Well I have realised, however I am doing it I am doing it.

And each time we meditate it is so different anyway. Dependent on our thoughts, emotions or environment we are in to list a few factors. The way in which we access it may also need to vary day-day. I have clearly been needing a more body accessible entry into meditation and have been struggling when staying so rigid in my idea of meditating by purely sitting at my mat.

I was listening to societies idea of meditation, which is true in some cases but again (as I have mentioned before) is so hard to put into words and can often lead to expectations for a whole from one second moments of it. This is enlightenment, or thoughtlessness. We can experience for a moment but judge ourself if we are not in it forever.

I WAS NOT listening to me. I need to put myself first and this is the first journey in all aspects of my life.

I will NOT be part of portraying one aspect and will fully write true to my needs.

I WILL WRITE everything I do and what my mind and body need on that day. I will also include any breathing techniques I come across, on purpose or accidentally, that I INVITE you to try and see how it fits with you.

I will share ones that I LOVE AND ONES I DO NOT as we are all different and I URGE YOU to do what is best for you.

Lets spread the love

Travel the world and spread magic where you walk.

Thank you :)