Meditation Journey Week Eight

Honestly it has been about a week and a half of not meditating...

At first, as in the first few days I feel really out of my body and dis-orientated. But as time goes on, I adjust to not having it and it becomes my new normal. I feel I have been quite steady (especially once being at home as well- being occupied and surrounding myself with friends family and the arts).

During this week I have noticed my minds wandering, being more aware of the time passed between meditating, and noting where it wanders to. To come out of this place I have been recalling quotes or ideas around the subject that motivate me moving forward. Not dwelling on the past. In a sense i have my own 'mantras'.

I know that by beginning to meditate again towards the end of this week will not eliminate these thoughts and feelings, neither they should as that is not the point of meditation. Getting back into meditation will allow me to see things from many angles. Right now I feel I am on the right path as I am now looking at situations and challenging how I viewed them before- and regaining my personal power in it. Meditation will allow anything else that has been laying dormant to come to the surface, and if there is nothing and this has cleared I know it is not an issue for now. I can know what I am truly thinking and saying to myself to be able to tailor my goals to help me strive more.

I feel I am in my cocoon period. Its weird to say I know but I had this moment only yesterday. Just before a butterfly hatches and flies off- it is in its protective shell. Developing, The caterpillar may see its life as over but its new one is just beginning. I am here. Closing all old chapters and ways of though and moving forward with new knowledge and truly honestly for the first time ever fully giving myself 100%.

Thursday

Getting back into it hard, especially when I am traveling. I have decided to not follow the app for the end of this week to allow my body back into it how it sees it. Also i then become a little obsessed with the 'achieving a day' part instead of fully focusing on the meditation and the reasons.

Instead, on the train I sat aside some time for reflection. My visual was looking at the changing scenery outside the moving train and trying to keep my mind clear of everything else. That's it. When my mind would wander, I was in limbo for a while, and would then pull it back to just focusing. I know I'll struggle this weekend but hopeful will be in a better routine by next week.

Friday

With my first proper shift at work, I didn't quite realise or plan my time well. I had the whole morning and mid afternoon to myself and did most of my daily task, et meditation was no longer an automatic. I went to work and realised I hadn't done it ONLY AFTER MY BREAK. I didn't 'standard meditate' today BUT.

I did receive some stress less cards as a gift from my mum. Each card shows a different technique to help manage stress and every day I draw one out at random and show it on my Instagram (@dance_therapy_tammie). Today's was as simple as take a walk. Reflecting back on my day and my habits, I notice I do tend to fidgit if distracted and what has worked best for me is to do some physical activity before continuing, such as abs, push ups, handstands (which nicely all play a part of my daily tasks).

I think I will keep these cards as my way back in to meditating by starting smaller and hoping it helps me keep my meditation streak up for longer.

Saturday

The card of the day was to focus on our overarching goal (mention in my last blog post) instead of the right now. This one took me some time to get my head around as all of my practice and information has been about connecting to the present. Being present, and enjoying the present as it is the only time that exists.

What I believe the card meant was. Say I am working and time is going by slowly. I could focus on that fact OR I could think why I am doing this. What am i working/saving for?

This card allowed me to take into perspective all I was doing and evaluate why, while also making my goals more precise. I know I was going to save up my money from work, either as a rainy day fund for net year or towards my own studio. My shift went by so quickly, just because I had a purpose. I wanted to do even better than I was doing, and do as good as I could in the job just because I had a purpose inside me, whether related or not.

Sunday

Today's card was about connecting. Hug someone if you can. Spread kindness. If you do not have anyone to hug or touch gently or you do not wish to, that is ok you are not alone. You can bring this similar effect in the words you use. Your language.

Has anyone ever said something and its made your day. You can be that person. Not only this but it will bring up your oxytocin (happy) chemical and mean you are in a happier and safer environment. Don't demand. Use your ps + qs.