Meditation Journey- Week Five

Monday

I have gone back to my normal meditation time of 23:30. It is just what works for me right now, I know I have my jobs done for the day and the idea is that this will limit distractions of a 'to-do list' which I forever have with me. Today I went back up to 15 minutes as I didn't feel the rush.

Working on the 'loneliness' theme and the light in the centre of your chest meditation that goes with it, I can already see how you can apply the same technique and with a different objective get a whole other result. The speech before the session began was talking about 'if you run away from it it will only exist further, but face it and learn about it. The difference between being alone and lonely.'

This meditation for me is a reaffirmation into self love, and knowing though you can be surrounded by beautiful souls you need to become that yourself. The best way to reveal yourself and become yourself is to sit ALONE with yourself. I love my alone time, but like everyone have moments where you take a break and have no messages, or you miss someone you used to be close with. I often continue being busy and occupy myself. YES THIS HELPS ME DEVELOP IN A CAREER OR 'MYSELF' but I am never healing that so when I finally stop it hits like a wave. Instead when a wave of any emotion comes or a hard memory- sit in it for a minute. Feel how you feel without thinking THEN and only then bring in the rational though. You are alive- you are breathing- you are capable.

This is what the meditation reaffirms, which I can only look back on hindsight. I am breathing into this 'machine' and giving it the life. My breath is giving it life.

Tuesday

Last night's meditation was earlier than normal as I was exhausted and ready for an earlier night.

I re-worked the creativity meditation, stepping it back up to 15 minutes. I felt a sense of connection to something that I can only describe as deeper than me. Like connecting to me. It wasn't as liberating as yesterday but it was so nice nonetheless.

Again we are reminded to focus on a goal-seed- for the meditation. Though I wasn't as good at the imagery technique today I was more distracted and emerged with the prior task- understand the body. I was lost in hearing and sounding of my body and feeling its connection to what was surrounding me. Slowly my proprioception is also being developed through staying still.

Wednesday

Before the meditation, i looked over some of the videos that come within the app. One of them explains meditation with a simple metaphor of taming a wild horse.

They say that to tame a horse you need to allow it to slowly adjust to the environment and not force a new one on. You will tie it up on a really long rope and let it roam free. Each day you rein it in a little until the horse is tame. The process happens gradually and is allowing peace. It is the same with stretching and flexibility- you train your muscles to know that this position is not a threat and each time it allows you to go deeper. Well the mind is a muscle too. And by doing a little each day, either deepening focus or goal, longer duration or multiple meditations you are allowing yourself to slowly get closer to meditation. Your thoughts will slowly drift away and you wont even notice, which allows a better and faster healing.

Thursday

Last nights meditation focused on the back to basics course. It could only be done for 10 minutes as the introductory. I felt this is a good place to go to as I could pick up any ideas I have lost before I create bad habits.

I noticed how much slower it was in getting to meditation than I had been doing- and not thinking it is very advanced either.

It opened with a man beginning the session and how we will go on this 10 day course together, before addressing that it is normal to get distracted and that the mind is constantly changing. Basically I took from it that MEDITATION IS THE ART OF LEARNING HOW TO MOVE WITH A CHANGING MIND.

We begin, as with all my other meditations, eyes open soft focus and begin to breath in and out. Closing your eyes you then begin to feel the contact your body has with what it is touching (including itself, so the weight of the arms on the legs...) and then scan from the head to the toes and sense where there is tension without changing anything. You can stay and breath into an area for a while or continue. Then after getting a sense of the room with your senses (what you can hear, smell..) you begin to re-state your goal in your mind and just be. Not thinking of the breath. If a thought comes in or you get lost in one you forgive yourself and continue on. You can also address this with a label 'school, work, past...' (but this wasn't in the introductory session). You are allocated or can self-allocate time to allow the mind to do as it wishes- if it wants to think of one event let it. To come back out of the meditation you go back in order, regain senses and then open the eyes.

Friday

Last nights meditation was the third of the 'basics course' and slowly working into extending the length of the time allowing the mind to be still.

I still find myself checking more into the body. I can notice more when I am out of alignment and making the smallest adjustment feels so dramatic. Something about being into yourself with your eyes closed, moving your neck a fraction of a millimeter feels like you are dragging it through cement. I have learnt that I lean and also rotate to the left meaning I am slightly wonky and facing down. Maybe this leads to one side of my chest being tighter than the other and being the most 'clickiest' and 'tight and more painful' side.

I know that is a tangent but that is my way into the body before I can clear my mind. I am also learning how to relax the hips and seeing where I am gripping when dancing.