Final Year- EHU Third Week

Monday

I woke up early. I went to the gym. I am feeling great.

Headed into my drama lecture- best lecture every as it involved dance practices and the body-mind ideology. I felt like I could really participate and was probably the only one in the class interested. I knew the practitioners mentioned and the methodologies. Yeah, I've learnt a fair bit. Then we get split into two groups to discuss our manifesto idea. Perfect. I have mine already planned- primary research- volunteers for a study.

BUT- what I thought wasn't exactly right. I was doing a research paper on a related field of interest. Its ok though as I could relate back to the type of company I would want and then in pairs through vigorous discussion and question was able to finalise many ideas. I will try and meet with my lecture in the gap between lessons to re-discuss and check I am on the right track before I run with it- again.

I never made it to the two extra curricular classes as I felt really weird in myself. I chose to go home and get some food and make sure I look after myself properly for the long run. I did begin to feel a little better and headed out for a quiet night at bingo like my old self does now- AND LOVING IT TOO.

Tuesday

I could of got up and gone to the gym. But today I am feeling exhausted. I think this is my body being ill. I planned instead to commit to Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday so I do not over exhaust in the beginning of the week and die out towards the end.

The choreography module, I always struggle making 4 hours with complete 100% focus and dedication- but today class was cut short by an hour. We could stay after to go over material for the remaining hour. I sat and went through ideas and made sure I had filmed documentation, alongside written, of what exact we had done.

Bod conditioning- I was ready. I was stronger than most but not where I wanted to be. I could compare and see how I progressed sine first ear but see the wasted time I have had where I could have learnt an extra skill and didn't. I will really commit this year with all my body and mental knowledge/

I had booked to see a show straight after, but to my disappointment found out it was cancelled. I was home early- which I always found strange, but enjoyed some time to myself for once.

Wednesday

11-1. The choreography module was full of some of my favourite ideas towards a performance, where I could start to see where everything would piece together and become coherent. However, I don't feel everyone is on the same page yet and I hope we all start getting excited to really enjoy the process. I cannot wait to perform again, and will be recording footage for my first official showreel in the coming months.

In the break, I find it hard to keep energy up. As I haven't over exerted myself yet or sweated I feel tired in my mind and body. I struggle not doing enough and its a continuous vicious cycle to get motivated to do more when it I harder the less I am in University with official hours. I will create a blog soon about how to fill the gap and what best to do in them and why.

Once I am in third edge class now I LOVE it- and I never thought I would say that. I have said it before and I will say it again. I used to cry. I could never pick up choreography, or understand terminology it all sounded so alien- and now it is normal and fun and relaxed and I feel I can shine. This proves to always give things another go as I am so glad I am. WE FINISHED WITH A JUMPING PHRASE AND I LOVE JUMPING. I FEEL LIKE I AM FLYING- AND MY WHOLE WALK HOME I WAS SMILING WITH HOW IN TOUCH WITH ME DANCE MAKES ME. I am now torn between the two loves of my future life- choregraphing of being a movement psychotherapist.

As every Wednesday, I went to the gym [this time I didn't do arms as I learnt from last week] and then headed to pole. I can see my development and love doing the class- and see when I am frustrated from not being able to do an invert perfect on both sides on my third week. It will come.

Thursday

And like a sign from God, our lecture opened with a talk from the psychotherapy lecture of the new masters- with it re-opening at Edge Hill. Why cant I do both?

With my 9-11 lecture frazzling all our heads, I went home and went through the dissertation pre-proposal myself and re-wrote my aims, objectives and research questions alongside starting on my introduction. I am feeling much more confident about it- now just need to find some similar research (pray for me) and once all written up can begin the drafting process. I am feeling the pressure more to do well now as the masters programmes of interest to me require a first- which is doable but a worry by my dance/drama difference. I also managed to get a better idea on my research, through the recommended book, and created my participant ethic forms and information letter and declaration. I am a little more positive and know I have come a long way.

This took me to mid afternoon- where I rewarded myself with snacks and a nap.

Getting back out of bed into the swing of the day is always hard, but today is the first day of my French course. I had to sacrifice some of my extra curricular dance classes- but know that this is vital for my future and time in Madagascar especially. I am sad I am missing some of these extra classes, but know next semester I will be moving my body a lot more.

Initially, I signed up for beginner french, and once there was able to swap to the class above the basics- still beginner. I was so proud I was up to date with the rest of the class after self teaching myself for 3 weeks. It was taxing enough, but I knew some key words and could work out some others. I still have a long way to go.

At midnight, as everyone does I rebuilt my Cyr wheel. Hoping to spend some time on it on Sunday and find ways to introduce it into weekly practice and my dissertation. The main issue is rolling this massive heavy thing the 15 minute walk to campus.

Friday

I have the whole Uni day off, this means my intentions are the gym and library. What actually happened was a nice lie in, a stroll into University to sort out my payroll forms, then heading back into town for the longest costa date with my mate that ever existed before doing a food shop and rewarding myself with a nap. In my defense, I think I will be getting more and more ill.

Once up I got to put my new red dress on and felt amazing, pre-ed with the flat and then headed into Liverpool for my first ever Irish gig.

I have never been in so much of a social situation where i do not know how to act or dance. I think I was the only English person there but it was ok. I loved the country undertones to the music- though I couldn't sing along with the warm up act as I knew no words. As the main act- the whistling donkeys- came on I fell in love with the lead singers voice. He was incredible. By the third time each chorus played I was able to sing along- which was great- and I ever learnt how to jive, some of the counties in Ireland and tried to pretend I was from one all night.

Once finished we ordered a taxi and planned to head into the town centre, where I would also meet my mate and some fellow graduates . What actually happened is we ended up standing in the pouring rain for 30 minutes and then deciding to go home. I rushed straight into a warm shower and bed as I was at work in the morning. Not the ideal way to end a night.

Saturday

Feeling relieved I got some sleep, I was up at the university in the morning once wadding through another storm and being a little grumpy for it too when I arrived with soaking feet. The shoot went well, and I was able to look into masters programmes in the time and begin my application process. So far I have only found one one year course I can do in January once back from my travels- before I do my 2 year psychotherapy one the following September. We shall see.

Once finished at 4:30 I headed back home as I had left my ticket for tonights show. The flat surprised me and half of them ended up coming with me.

'When did you stop dancing?' had an unfortunatly small audience. When it began it was nothing like I expected and I wasn't sure I would enjoy it- but towards the end I am holding back my tears. It is an amazingly clever one woman show where she combined the dance epidemic back in the 1500's to suicide prevention and woman's right- the way it flowed so seamlessly and hit in emotional nerves was incredible. When it was finished we headed into town for some food and drinks, and then finished in a bar with the intention of dancing. Again its Ormskirk the music wasn't the best but it was nice to be out in all the places I used to again without any worry.

Sunday

When I woke up it is safe to say I am ill. The original plan to take thee wheel to Uni and begin practising I will put on hold for a few days- though I do now have a list of the moves and steps to take to learn them, so I am not freaking out s I am prepared on paper. Today will be about resting for the busier week I have coming up as I am now part of a masters project to be shown in December and have auditions this coming week.