Malta 2018- week thirtythree

Monday

We started the release class with half of the class, with everyone else in tech reheasals. We went over material, cleaning and were told some of the theories behind release and what they have been looking for all term. ? ...

The class was really useful to go over material I missed for personal reasons and break down initiation points and directions that are being asked for. Cleaning is never normally something I love but I have enjoyed the most out of this whole semester as everything makes sense and today my confidence was so much higher. I could experiment.

Unknown to us, classes were finished early. With our ballet teacher choreographing for Eurovision and creating a new piece, we were able to leave early for the day. I stayed behind in the studios and began my intense 2 week turnout segment of my fitness plan (trialing and comparing small sustainable and then all out in 2 week slots). This was the first time in Malta I had one of these studios to myself, not only that but the whole building. I could sing my heart out and stretch. I am at home.

Once i left and locked up the studios, I took advantage of the beautiful weather and tanned on the roof for two hours whilst attempting to read in Italian. Be the person you want to see in the mirror everyday- This being the moto I am following.

I have written a list of everything I want to achieve and be, as in writing makes it more concrete. Today I have started learning sign language too.

I spent my evening researching phenomological frameworks for one of my upcoming essays and finally deciding on a title.

Tuesday

Release today was BRUTAL. like I struggled and I have that in writing. I came in positive but found myself being kicked down; I am building my resiliance but in the 'real world' I wouldnt attend a class that doesn't bring out the best in me.

I managed to do all the phrases, in sections and then together at speed for the first time, and was proud of it. Thats all that matters. I am the dancer I want to be and know how I need to and how I can improve and will continue to execute whats best for me.

Ballet is becomming the love of my life. As soon as 'pop ballet' starts I am singing along, and performing every move. I am a dancer that loves expression through the arms and find our plie exersise for exciting just for its arm and head placements as I try and create an every improving and fluid port de-bras. We went through our exam at speed, rushing the centre due to less time.

The best thing with my this ballet teacher is she knows where and when to add something to help us improve. She isn't scared of taking 5 minutes to not do ballet if it will get us in the right frame of mind. After seeing our energy from release we were all take to the balcony, under the sun and told to hold a power pose for 5 minutes. This is where you hold a position of 'power' which is supposed to radiate subconsciously into the mind. It is a trick I have used for a while, even if its when we are getting shouted at in release I will have my hands on my hips and feel less phased. After 5 minutes and some diva songs everyone's spirits were lifted.

In dance and performance theory we were discussing philosophy and its many relationships to dance. After a heated 2 hour debate on 'what is dance?' and performance theories, I left remembering my love for philosophy and psychology.

Wednesday

After a smaller class of release learning new material for the exam in three weeks, we had contact improvisation. With two years there were only around 6-8 people in class. It's crazy how many people have taken time off this week, with rehearsals and energy loss.

Our contact improvisation teacher, knowing we were tired and some had a show tonight, gave us an easier class rather than an hour of straight lifts. We did a task where we put two prases side-side to create a duet with qa range of tasks- like having to stay in contact witha body part, moving the level of the piece... Some of the results were reallyt interesting, especially when we got to pick a task for another group and ended up with animal noises and swapping of clothes.

Once I got home I spent a few hours on my management essay which once I got started, began writing itself. Normally i am one to panic when things are given or done last minute but my previous three years of University allow me to know how I write and the most effective method for me. I am scarily calm.

I was helping out front of house in the 3rd year choreography show tonight in Valletta. Once piece really registered with me and was in a style that I would like to do my dissertation like (though with less ballet technique). To try and explain it is another story. THIS SUMMER I NEED TO FINALISE MY IDEA AND STYLE CHOICES.

Thursday

Release today was Savage. I will not go into it in this blog post but for me to reach my limit takes a long time before i bite back. I am glad this is the last class for the week so I can go through material independently and also have a break from the environment.

During ballet my brain was still a little frazzled and as a result I messed up two exercises but loved class. I can really laugh about the humanness of messing up but fight to keep going and catch up with the exercise. Ballet has gone from my most dreaded thought (at the beginning of the year) to my safe, peaceful class/home.

It was the ballet class outside of exams where we have another teacher once a week. I found how high my arabesque can go when supported- so just need to work on the strength to get it past 90 degrees.

In my theory lesson today, the healthy performer, we went through the second part of a questionnaire that we started in the beginning of the year. We didn't get to see our comparison of results which would have been nice but it is dawning on me so much that I am at the end of my year. I am already looking into my Masters and if doing that and working the Opera here in Malta is something I will do after my final year at Edge Hill. It all depends on how Britain is seen as an international student after Brexit to see if it ends up being a masters for 400Euro or 10,000Euros.

We spent the remainder of class looking at proprioception

I am beyond exhausted to be doing work tonight. So tomorrow will be a day flat of essays and research projects.

Friday

Today with ballet class cancelled, I was up early and doing my essay- which I got finished YAY. I managed to get everything done at stupid a clock in the morning, then had a nap. Illness hit me and I spent the rest of the day bedridden. I hate not being able to move and feeling so weak in myself so I am praying tomorrow i feel better as i have abseiling and ziplining.

Saturday

Lets say I didn't abseil or zip line which I am gutted about! I did however manage to drag myself to go to my mates to have a cute study date attempting to practice our healthy performer presentations, which of course led to a night out. I am really going to miss our little routines and sleepovers we have created.

Sunday

Rest day. The only productive thing I have done is watch two films in Italian- that counts right?