Malta 2018- week twentyfive

Monday

In this mornings release class, we had the ideas of a personal list of ways to improve to change each time we perform, to further explore our bodies as researchers. I have never carried the title ‘researcher' when dancing, which is so pushed upon in this class meaning my mind shift has to adapt to achieve in this style of teaching and learning.

Personally throughout my career I have noticed how if a routine is not innate to my body, when focusing on another quality I will often forget parts of the taught routine whilst working on development of the strength and precision of my arms for example. I know this ‘multitasking’ is something to be developed on. I quote ‘multitasking’ as in the ‘real world' it proves to be one of my strengths and is how I get most of my work done in my dancing day. I need to discover what the hindrance is in this class, being the first time the issue has been so apparent. Remember not everything is going to be suited to your body or learning, and even if you don’t strive in one area in your studying doesn’t mean you won’t succeed in the real world as it most likely won’t be a route you will go down.

Body conditioning went back to cardio practice and abwork. I used to want to be a person who went for jogs, mainly due to the image it portrayed in society and not an actual want. It is important to upkeep cardiovascular fitness for dance, one I think mine is string enough without going for jogs. An work, however, has proved to be a preceded route of fitness with a strong core I don’t often use. Today I found my core more engaged to the my limbs in my daily life on a bus commute. When everyone else was swaying and stumbling around the bus, I stayed strong and when moved subtly my whole body moved in complete giving me more stability and strength. I can feel the training be absorbed by my body innately allowing me to tryst it to be in the right place to free my mind to think of other corrections. Finally.

Tuesday

With the last day of classes before the conference and shows, we were pushed extra hard in class. I can feel my approach to dance shifting and prioritising what I need to know.

- Improve multi-tasking- remembering a quick taught routine flipping it to the other side or space, whist focusing on what I will develop (musicality, strength, quality...)

- Spatial orientation (though improving) when moving the routine to another place\facing in space

- Getting lost in the dance and myself when not feeling comfortable

I loved ballet today, and was the person to hold all balances the longest. This is the second ‘competition’ in class that I have ‘won’ but it has caused me to shift from saying I know I will be as good and\or better even thou I do not have the same duration of ballet training to actually believing it- showing how fake it til you make it really works.

We left our theory lesson early to make collective rehearsals, and stayed until late. We achieved two run through, yet ensured to reserve some energy in preparation for our show tomorrow.

Wednesday

Conference day and show night

I managed to pay on the door and still be a student price- €15 for three days of a conference. I can attend from 9-3 (normally finishes 5\6) and then go to the dress run of the show starting TONIGHT. With an early start I’m hoping I don’t crash later by am feeling prepared for the upcoming performance and weird that this is the first show that I’m not nervous and maybe in connection to this is I have no one watching me in this endeavour. I am glad about this fact though, even though the show has really pulled together, I think my parents would be offended with all the shouting.

We have a key note speaker from Edge Hill, David Peimer, who will be speaking tomorrow.

The first talk was by Maria Delgado, continued with 3 other lectures I could attend in my time. There was a blend of theatre and dance talks, with a theme of site specific work. I never expected to suddenly have an idea to link to my dissertation alongside many current works that explore similar issues. As much as my time in Malta is growing to an end which is something I will miss, I feel prepared now for the demands of third year in Edge Hill University, with a heighten knowledge of my body, spatial awareness and placement.

I came to the conference being a person against site specific work, and left being inspired by the talks and meanings behind. The key to site specific work that I took with me was that it isn’t about stealing the arts from theatre but bringing history, culture and people into the city to show the importance and need of dance for the people. I am still not convinced in DaDa\happenings, which I shall write a post about the differences and arguments between the two.

At 3, we met the at of our cast and did a run through of the show. With our drummer running late, we started our 19:00 performance slightly later, but got SUCH A GOOD RESPONSE from the audience. We even got asked to put on another show specifically for the man in charge of the University. It has defiantly made all the stress worth it.

Thursday

I arrived later today, 11am, giving me time to rest with a lie in before the show. I have always loved education but never as much as in this conference. Not everything has been relevant to my field but this has improved and push my mind. Following a study by LAURA VORWERG, about fragmentation and the divide of the body as an instrument and the connection. Our body gets used as a tool, the more we train we more we learn, yet this can be argued to fall into ‘communerism’ where we are sold modules by university to prove we know something, and not that our body and dance shows this. Laura talks about a second strand of learning being performing as self awareness and a journey, and that either route we have to get better as humans we will. To separate our body from a ‘humans body' is about the information we have out in, the physical ability. If anything this has supported me in dance at a later age as its about how we have fed our body before (physically and mentally) and how we train with the time we have. This could explain even Tuesday of me feeling I have caught up almost, as I have maintained dancing and keeping active until at university and zoning in on technicalities needed for a dancer. My brain has always been kept fit, and loves to problem solve (coming from a mathematical background), and so has been able to adapt to life as a dancer since my first year at university. Anything is possible, work hard and you will get where you need to.

The show last night went well and had a good response and a larger audience. I met with David Peimer from Edge Hill and introduced him to watch the collective performance. It was lovely to feel the support of Edge Hill from a lecturer I had never previously met but had a connection of the University.

Friday

A little delayed to the conference due to a car crash (wasn't me), I was delighted by Anne Cooper-Albright's theme in falling. It is a tension that I have carried not only in my dance world but my personal life. I found interesting the idea of building trust into our bodies innate ability to land safely in a fall (knowing how the fear of falling is more dangerous than the actual potential fall, increasing its likely hood) and how trust between groups in contact work can give the feeling of support, resilience and resistance. I have found tryst working in groups if two or more, more than happy to throw myself onto another dancer, and lift them, not knowing precisely where the move will conclude. In contrast, when it comes to trusting myself on my own, I lack the confidence of my body’s ability to throw myself upwards to the sky and float into the ground. This talk brought to life the importance of lying on the floor before class to feel close to the weight sharing balance of the body and gravity to blend the levels of dancing to seamlessly flow through space.

I know when I handstand I have the ability to tip over and land safely in a bridge, yet still hesitate or limit my back flexibility with a lack of trust in my arms to catch me as I fall. This is a comment I reflect on seeing it through my time at Edge Hill university and the University of Malta. This conference has added to my list of personal development , trust in myself and falling.

I know I am not perfect and will never be as a dancer, as it is unattainable, yet forget what I need to when setting myself a goal for when repeating rep work in class. With a written list carrying on my person, I now have ideas at the forefront of my mind to reflect and improve upon.

The dress run went by quickly, and soon the show was over. I felt less ‘into it' today but was told it was one of the tightest performances. My highlight of this process was being individually mentioned as a ‘great performer' by one of my lecturers, reiterating that though my technique is developing quickly I always am a will be a story teller.

After the show and clean up, we all went to a bar in Valletta before a few of us dancers headed into paceville. I am really going to miss the girls I made friends with here, but it has opened new possibilities with us looking at workshops in Italy this summer and ballet in Russia once they graduate and I have my masters.

Saturday

Waking up the latest that I have in a long while, the day is about getting articles for upcoming essays together and writing my finished log books. There is a contact improvisation workshop this evening that I am debating attending. After everything from the conference it seems like an opportunity I cannot miss. I never made it to the class and instead passed out exhausted after this week.

I did, however, find very interesting articles to fix my inward rolling knees, improve my turn out and tailor my personal fitness plan. In addition, I am looking to undertake a sport massage diploma in September. Its going to be a busy, full packed last year of my degree, but I am more and more eager to feel the best equipped I can be for life as a graduate.

Sunday

After finishing my research about my body and how to tailor a plan, I got some headshots done before re-working my website and writing up my collective log book. I need today to get my body back into dancing, after three days off last week, ready for the week ahead.