Malta- week thirteen

Monday

Today was long but bringing a positive week. Armed wit a small token to bring my faith and trust in myself I was ready to take on technique, and importantly the class that made me cry.

Ballet went well, even thought I was aware of my errors I felt progress as i was the sweatiest I had been doing the exam work to date.

Going into Cunningham, I held my token took a breath and knew why I was here. I am here to learn, to keep learning for as long as I can and gain more skills. It seems from my email saying that ‘I was struggling and felt I couldn’t so for help' and today the teacher was more tolerable to not just me but all of us. I felt less insecure feeling like one view of me as ‘bad’ was being out to me but the entire class were looked at. Its hard and it doesn’t get easy overnight, BUT I felt better in class even I’d know its just because I said something in writing. Create safe environments for you, add to it with your positivity and keep trying and be proud every time you fall.

After dance theatre we had another Cunningham class (running for this week) and then a rehearsal to finish the day. I did 9 hours non stop plus 1.5 walking into class with just a short lunch break. Longer days doesnt give you a lot of room in the evening to play with self a development, but it pushes me to do more to make IP tomorrow knowing that I finish mid-afternoon.

Tuesday

I felt like a ballerina in class today. I’m really enjoying both the mental and physical space of ballet and with a bit more took to breathe outside of corrections I am becoming neutral to Cunningham again and not walking in with fear. Following yesterdays conversation with Lee about holding something with all faith into a trinket, ww had a similar talk in ballet about having full trust in ourselves as our mind is the only thing that can hold us back.

One trick I love to use is visualization. If you have time in class, or easier before a performance see yourself doing the dance for instance. If you struggle with a jump, imagine getting it. Feel the way it sits in your ‘imaginary body then see it as you perform it in real life. Another quick and easy way to test it straight away is to go as far into a box split as you can- see where you are. Then close your eyes and imagine going further, slide down with your eyes closed then open and see how much you’ve improved.

I received an email feedback from my Cunningham teacher today, which to sum up said she noticed I was down and is glad I’m now in a more positive place and to remind myself that technique doesn’t come overnight and to reassure me that I have improved a lot since the start. Its nice to have some written feedback that I can reflect on. Going through this, which is very rare for me, has taught me more of warning signs and the differences in people when teaching. Everyday we learn from our experiences which allows us to put into practise in our teachings. I try in every class I am in or teaching to send out good vibes, push people hard but balance out to maintain that sparkle in them.

After a quick run of my piece I set off home to rest up ready for the end of a long week ahead.

Wednesday

Its days like today when I know I’ll be finishing late that I wish I had the software on my tablet to do more work in my hour break.

Contemporary this morning was an extended warm up and then going over the partnering duet ready for an exam. The routine isn’t something I find too challenging but both being at the same place at the same time is proving the challenge. I love my partner, but we have different ways and time spans to learn material so we have agreed to go over it once a day to sync up and know what were doing. I’m not too worries. After we had our partnering class which was fun games on learning to trust in a group. This is something I love and giving faith to my classmates only solidifies bonds.

I am sat writing this knowing I won’t home til around 8:30 tonight. I still have dance theatre rehearsal 1, movement analysis, Cunningham class and then dance theatre rehearsal 2.

9pm, I’m home and for the first time this week not completely exhausted. The additional Cunningham class was better and I felt stronger in mg centre even thou I messed up. I’m getting back to takin on board a mistake but brushing it away now when it comes to these classes. I think in every new skill you have you go trough this process of being over critical (or having that in your environment) but as you come to terms with it it fades away. You just need to stick it out.

2 rehearsals into one dance theatre performance I’m n, and I’m feeling weirdly confident. I am far from perfect in the piece but so proud of how quick I have picked up a 7 minute dance.

My rehearsal for TOmeTOseeTObe is now set which brings me some relief. Don’t get !e wrong I have a lot on but managing it seems to be the only way I can get through both professional and life stresses.

Thursday

My morning classes just flew by. We had ballet then worked on our partnering assessment which went the best it has so far, we still have work by we are syncing up. Even though it was my longest day it was the quickest Thursday I’ve had to date. In collective especially, we did a more dance based section which utilised some of our skills just as the text was tailored to the actors. We are playing with the theme of revolution and the ‘dance section' is with the prop of ‘Banksey spray paint cans'.

It was a late finish with me editing music until 23:30- I can tell you I’m ever going to become a musician who needs to edit.

Friday- PUBLIC HOLIDAY MEANS NO UNI

Even though formal classes weren’t on but of course I was dancing. I tried to lie in but 7:30 was the best I could do before getting ready for rehearsals. Today’s venue wasn’t the normal place but in a gym space in a quaint town by the sea, with just enough space to lay the prop used out flat. My dancers worked so hard and even with problems with the music (still- I am never being a musician) we finished the piece.

I thought we still had first aid on today, and after waiting 30 mins I realised I was wrong. Off home I went where I have just lounged around and am now getting ready to go out with my flat and 2 of their mates who have come over from Holland.

Saturday

Last night was so lovely. I have missed getting dressed up and feeling like a human outside of my dance clothes. Paceville is great when you’re nkt there every weekend. I haven’t been out for a while and so it was new and fresh, even though we never made it to my favourite bar I’m excited to go when next out.

Today Lees playing his first gig at the ‘black sheep' tonight so the day is a blend of resting up, sound check and each of our ‘jobs’.

The evening was lovely to be say in such a relaxed atmosphere. The bar is full of cosy lamps, comfy cushions and a beautiful blend of inside and outside. We spent the night with a Bulgarian couple and look forward to meeting up with them soon.

Sunday

Sunday is the day of reading and log books. I have also (very late) finished filming and uploading my quick 5 daily exercises for better turnout' which will be on my YouTube channel tonight